Saknar att känna mig älskad…

[Azure Ledody]

I really don’t know what to do… I wish there could be someone who could help me… To fix it to tell me what should I do how to cope with this feeling … How to not be in love with my partner… that I could erase this that I could easily leave or how to get him to show me he loves me if he wants to keep me because he is holding on …how to get him to understand why I became this… And how much I love him even though he tells me that I’m fighting… I fight because I love him and I want to feel that he is the same with me… Is he really loves me? When he ignores me … And don’t even want to hugh me….or anything… Just because I tell him I don’t like when he give his attention to other women on a way that he forgets about me that I’m still there? “What is he doing when I’m not there … ” And I’m the bad one because this get me thinking ? I’m the bad one because it hurts me because I don’t do at all this with other man in his presence or even if he isn’t on my side… I’m loyal and trustworthy really truly love him…
But what to do … I don’t know whenever I tell him okay I want to leave he don’t let me go…
I really don’t know what should I do I know just one thing that this is right now not okay something need to change…. Should I give a chance and be more patient ? Be nicer and try to ignor every bad thought I have?
And just forgive and focus on myself for a while and let him decide what he really wants and don’t talk to him ? And ignor him like he do whenever I just wants to understand him?…
I just feel sometimes that what he is doing with me is so unfair….or just me who is to sensitive… I mean I give him my heart I still love him even though he treats me like …. Sometimes… Most of the time when he stressed out about ( not even me give him stress) something … then if during this period if I do even a little mistake … Well that is me who made his whole life a hell … But I really did nothing… But he is very different when he is happy … When he is happy what ever is the reason… He nice and he give attention to me for a few hours … Then he switch mood again… something happens and if I say something or ask what is the issue he gets upset why I even asking… But I just want to help maybe I can. I know he may has a lot of issue but that is not right to treat me like this. If he truly loves me . And when after a while I get enough of that he just treat me like a problem (but he can treat nicely others)… and be mad and fight with him …
he use the silent treatment on me.
So I really don’t get it… Like is me who is a bad person because I have flaws and sometimes with (big reason ) I’m jealous?…. Because it’s hurts me like hell… I don’t deserve this I was a nice girl but now I became an insecure depressed person who needs extra love…
When he and I met in the first time everything was good … And i was feeling I find finally someone who understands me and loves me truly i was feeling I find my other half ( I still feel that) we went through a lot of sh*t together anyway and never gave up on eachother a was on his side even though with his flaws I accepted them. But lately there is something that makes us unbalanced… I really don’t want to make a mistake…
I think about our son a lot. I want him to grow up in a good family with values and respect between parents…

I’m so devastated…

[Indigo Vutaqy]

If I am reading your text correctly, you feel as though your partner doesn’t love you, or at least doesn’t show it as much as you do?

You also write that he’s sometimes ignoring you, and that he says that ‘you are fighting’. Are you expecting more affection from him than he can give you, or is it the case that he actually treats you badly?

I wonder if you’re not compatible. And maybe you’d be better off going your seperate ways?