Life has been really hard. I came to Sweden to study and “escape” from the horrible place I once lived in. I thought I could have a fresh start and achieve my goals in life but trauma does follow you everywhere. I slowly failed my classes, even with the extra help they gave me for my learning disability (ADHD). Then, everything falls apart. Every aspect of my life just slowly degrading. No one would hire me because I can’t socialize like other normal people. I made no progress in school as I couldn’t find a professor to do my thesis with. I have to spend most of my savings on school, doctors, and medicines. I can barely pay my rent so I can comfortably rot in this small four-walled room. I can’t fly back home because that place is horrible, yet I can’t keep on living either. It hurts. I just want the pain to stop. Every day feels like I’m just waiting for the day I finally have enough courage to end it, and every time I go to sleep I hope I won’t wake up.
Mom, I’m truly sorry for disappointing you. And to my little sister, I love you and I’m sorry your big bro will not be there when you get to be an architect in 15 years or so. I’m really really sorry.
